Blood Sugar

blood-sugar

Arthur Rimbaud wrote:

”There shall be poets! When woman’s unmeasured bondage shall be broken, when she shall live for and through herself, man—hitherto detestable—having let her go, she, too, will be poet! Woman will find the unknown! Will her ideational worlds be different from ours? She will come upon strange, unfathomable, repellent, delightful things; we shall take them, we shall comprehend them.” (Arthur Rimbaud (1854-1891), French poet. Letter, May 15, 1871. Collected Poems, ed. Oliver Bernard (1962).)

100 years later, feminist poets (Little Red Riding Hood and Leda and Her Swan by Olga Broumas; Clitoris by Toi Derricotte) taught us that language comes from the body. Later, poets like Robert Bly (The Cat in the Kitchen; Snowbanks North of the House) and Frederick Seidel (Downtown; Homage to Pessoa; That Fall) did the same for men. Gender, once the great, unifying dichotomy, the force that divided us and defined us, has lost its potency. It’s no longer possible to write in an impactful, visceral way about the primary way of thinking about the body: a sexual organism.

What part of our bodies speaks for us now? More and more people are now united by blood – or rather, what’s in our blood. From the blood sugar lows of teenage pot smokers who condition themselves to gorge on junk food, to the gradual resistance to the effects of insulin of gen-Yers who drink gourmet coffee by day and artisanal beer by night, to the millions of Americans who have literally eaten and drunk themselves into type 2 diabetes – many of whom suffer chronic hyperglycemia for want of medical care or the will or ability to adopt lifestyle changes – the sugar in our blood, and the mental and emotional vagaries of our diabetic lifestyle, is what now unites us. Is not the irritable and doting mood swings of Twitter holding a mirror up to the wild fluctuations of our blood sugar? Is not the public “backlash” that so often accompanies, well, everything, and conversely, the torpor and lassitude that accompanies, well, everything, the 2 prevailing public moods of the untreated diabetic? Furthermore, is not the physiological inflammation that results from excess body fat – a consequence of diabetes – a metaphor for the prevailing inability of so many individuals and groups to find any common ground to resolve conflict?

I wrote Mary And Barb Get Divorced in 1994. The year prior I had read Jane Bowles’ novel, Two Serious Ladies, as well as some of her short stories. Bowles’ novel and stories made a strong impression. I was moved by Bowles’ knack for stripped down, yet full-bodied, elemental description, as well as her prickly, eccentric, and usually doomed characters. Later, my mother, Barbara Parsons, told me a story about a trip she had recently taken to the sulfur baths in French Lick, Indiana. Writing the poem, aside from my interest in exploring some of the elements of Bowles’ writing, I wanted to get at certain qualities of my mother’s personality. Southern women tend to have a very distinct texture to their personality. This quality comes across most strongly in my memory of my mother’s voice:  slow-moving and smooth, like molasses, an elegance that borders on doddering, yet a granularity underneath it, grittiness, even. Hers was a voice that could envelop and caress me like silk and abrade me like sandpaper, all at the same time.

As a young man, I was a “chronic” user of marijuana. I self-medicated every day, in order to help control various emotional issues. When I was learning to write poems, I used marijuana to combat crippling self-consciousness. However, this resulted in a writing process that mimicked the well-known cycle of hypoglycemia, followed by gorging on junk food, followed by an even worse crash. Rather than helping me deal with my self-consciousness to any meaningful degree, the marijuana encouraged me to write in a kind of objectivist, imagistic telegraph style – image stacked on image, leading nowhere. I would get high, write an image, and then crash. Get high, write an image, and then crash. These were pieces of poems, poems that were good “in parts,” but overall lacked…something. The way the writing moved from sense observation to sense observation made resolution difficult. I could get the reader “in” a poem, but frequently, like the glucose in my blood, the poem crashed before I could get somewhere. It was when I wrote Mary And Barb Get Divorced that I started to devise ways of getting the reader “out” of poems with the same degree of aptitude I had when it came to getting the reader into the poem. In Mary And Barb, the flashback allowed me to escape the procession of objective declarations. The forest as female sexuality, the hysteria, the abrupt recovery and role switching, the swoon: these are straight out of Bowles.

Like Claude Monet with his sunsets, Francis Bacon with his mouths and Popes, and Vincent van Gogh with his sunflowers, I’ve been obsessed for many years with the psychological and mental vicissitudes of wildly fluctuating blood sugar levels. The Japanese woodblock artist Utagawa (or Ando) Hiroshige produced 2 dramatic portraits of the sea – Wild Sea Breaking On The Rocks and Sea Off Satta In Suruga Province. In the same way he depicts the power and unpredictability of the sea – its swells and drops, its elemental force – I’ve tried to use the setting action of the poem to meditate on the wild fluctuations of blood sugar: the rush of alcohol; the shedding of inhibitions with strangers; the reverie; the eventual confusion; and, the final dramatic gesture of a swoon at the end.

The prosaic quality of the language belies the fact that I rely primarily on narrative conventions – setting, character, action, and plot—to communicate in the poem. Technique is an afterthought, a scraping of texture onto the surface of the poem, like an insulin shot.

 


Mark Parsons’s poems have been published or are forthcoming in Indiana Review, Smalldoggies, Curbside Splendor, Poetry Quarterly, Heavy Feather Review, Regarding Arts and Letters, and elsewhere. He lives in Yokohama, Japan.


 

 

On Birds and Bastards

BluebirdSome people believe in dogma, some believe in karma. John Lennon said he believed in faeries, but I believe in fiction. In its hypocrisy – its epic tug of war between truth and tale – fiction gives us all the comfort and anxiety that comes with faith in something. “The Aviary Adventures of a Part-Time Bastard” may as well be a memoir. After all, it is the truth: my husband’s grandfather is a bluebird on the fence. Sure, it may be difficult to present hard evidence to support such a theory, but like all intuitions –love, loneliness, and familial relations to bluebirds – they exist whether they present themselves in a sealed plastic baggy or not.

I began “The Aviary Adventures of a Part-Time Bastard” by simply laying down the facts: my grandfather-in-law is a bluebird, my husband is certain of it, and my deceased grandmother has yet to come squawking on my windowsill. When I shared a draft of the work with Dr. Katharine Haake of California State University Northridge, she pointed at the white space between two paragraphs and told me to “write what happens there.” I did and found myself subsequently shocked at the darker layer I discovered. Wasn’t it Robert Frost who said: “No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader?” Right he was.

Under a hawk’s nest in my rented California canyon home, I completed the story, still uncertain if it was about death or life, sanity or insanity, solitude or companionship. Perhaps, it will present itself differently for each reader. I showed the piece to my husband, but he can’t read, because he is a bluebird. Just kidding. He can read. He thought it was sad. My mother-in-law cried, because she believed it. My best friend scoffed and told me I was weird. All I know is this: when I read it back to myself, the story felt eerily honest.

However, my writing is not all birds and bastards. In addition to my affection for the aviary things in life, I also enjoy writing about beards, psychics with false teeth, and the uncanny relationship between Jesus and the jelly doughnut. When it comes to subject matter, binary oppositions are my muses and the psychedelically grotesque is my lover – for now, anyway. Also, I never plot out my stories. They usually begin with a sentence and from there, grow into their own beast. Most times, I have no clue what my stories are about until they end; and the success of my pieces almost always hinges on how little I try (a friendly philosophy I picked up from Mr. Charles Bukowski). By simply believing in fiction, rather than in my own anxiety-ridden mind, I can usually swallow my pride and allow the stories to write themselves. And let’s face it: just like that bluebird on my fence has done a better job at being a father than any human man to my husband, that intangible literary force in the wind always writes better fiction than I ever could.

 

Trashed

AnnieTerrazzo-Annie_Terrazzo_Newspaper_and_Trash_Portraiture-img_0897

My work has always been about trash.

This didn’t start out of inspiration, but from a reaction to sheer poverty. Back in 2003, after moving to LA from a couple of other places, I didn’t have the money to afford real materials for my art. It wasn’t really my intention, but using these found objects and used materials from thrift shops collectively told a story within the work.

I was impressed how people not only wanted to buy the work but also wanted to know the story.

The Story of the Trash

I remember the day I began using trash and other found objects in my work quite vividly. I was downtown, outside a slightly sketchy area in Little Tokyo, and was supposed to be picking up a friend at a loft. After waiting outside for a good 25 minutes, I became frustrated and slid into the locked building when a resident exited from it. I didn’t have my friend’s loft number; so I aimlessly walked around the floors calling her until my phone died. As a last resort, I went over to the mailboxes to look for her name.

Sitting on top of the mailbox itself was a large manila envelope containing some small cylindrical object with a note attached. Curious, I read the note.

“Dear Crackhead. My child found your crack pipe in the garage by my car, you sick degenerate…” It went on for about a page explaining that this was a place where kids were present and the owner of said pipe should be ashamed of causing such social pollution. It was a nasty letter, to say the least. But, the writer was returning the crack pipe to the crack head, which boggled my mind. I took the envelope and ran all the way out of the lobby and down the stairs to my car. I locked the door.

It took me close to a year to work the note and pipe into some artwork. I’d create something and then quickly destroy it or show it once or twice, then rip it apart and start again. All of my paintings back then had at least 3 or 4 failed works underneath them. Most pieces floated from idea to idea until they found the perfect spot or someone purchased it before I could destroy it again.

The artwork finally came together with a no smoking sign from Starbucks and the portrait of a very classy white woman. In between the woman’s luscious red lips and her delicate hands, I placed the crack pipe. Above her went the no smoking sign. It was perfect, though no one purchased it.

I placed it in one of my exhibitions at the I-5 Gallery in Los Angeles, but the night before my drop-off, I changed  the background from a charcoal ink splatter as I painted it a vibrant and striking solid red.

The piece, entitled “Crack” sold that day to a middle-aged optometrist, who was slightly more excited to have crack art in his home than should be expected. More pieces of mine began to sell, enough of them so that I could afford better material, though I rarely did this as I didn’t want to take my art in that direction.

The Newspapers

The newspapers were a natural progression of my artistic endeavors. In 2007, I traveled to London for the first time. I took the tube, where disgarded newspapers stacked up to my knees and covered the train floor. Londoners get free papers, read them on their journey and throw them on the floor of the train when they are done. I happened to be alone on that particular tube, my only company on that long journey was the newspapers. When I got off the train—my hands smeared with dirty newspaper ink—I  had a pretty good idea where I wanted to take my art.

I love portraiture, old and new, but I really wanted to find a new and interesting way to show it. Enter: newspapers. I started to dig away into the heart of a person’s story by using newspapers. The drawings started to create a fuller understanding of the subtext—whether that be some deep metaphorical meaning or a joke.

The Work

Since 2007, three newspapers have gone out of business in the US on a yearly basis. Like “Newsweek” in 2011, the print publications go digital, changing the format so drastically that they have become tabloid—holding on to any for headline for ad money. And now everybody knows everything and knows nothing at the same time.

With the rise of this trend in digitalized information, now it’s just the weird hoarders and myself collecting these quickly dwindling newspapers. In opposition to society’s desire for quick information and adoration of seeming limitless technology, I feel there is actually something of value in these pages. Even though I take the piss out of them, cut up, rip up, tear up everything about them, I still—and perhaps always will—have a deep appreciation for newspapers and magazines. To preserve them in my own way.

I cover them in plastic and heat/light resistant glue. This is my way—the way in which I make art—to preserve these artifacts.

Each page is a story.

Each ad tells more than I could ever paint.

And I want the viewer to not just look at my work, but to read it.

 

Terrazzo’s artwork will be featured in The Doctor T.J. Eckleburg Review’s gallery next week starting June 20, 2013.

 


Annie Terrazzo has been creating mixed media and trash portraiture for almost 10 years and has sold over 400 works in that time. “Detritus”, Annie’s recent artistic endeavor that is made completely out of newspapers and vintage magazines from around the world. 

Originally from Colorado, Annie studied art with her family of jewelers and plein air artists, then moved on to study graphic design and portraiture in San Francisco. Since then, she has devoted her time to capturing the current depreciation of newspapers and found paper, making fun of it, as well as preserving them. In the future you can see her work at The Hive Gallery and Studios in downtown LA, and a solo show in Santa Monica at Hale Arts beginning Oct 18th through the 30th in 2013.