Narration and Tone

Genre fiction, broadly speaking, is a kind of writing that privileges plot over writing style. The narration is frequently a free-indirect style, which describes both characters’ actions and thoughts, but also is omniscient—describing events that no character can see. The narration also withholds information, purely to serve the plot—as a movie or TV show would cut away from a scene, right before we see the killer’s face, genre fiction deliberately manipulates the plot to artificially create suspense. The ‘narrator’ knows things the reader doesn’t, and withholds those things for no other reason than entertainment. But genre fiction is fun! Michael Crichton, Stephen King, Dean Koontz—the frequently write in a way that is largely transparent; their language is low on metaphorical import, high on active description. And you read them, not for the poetry of their language, but for the power of their plots. What’s that mysterious orb at the bottom of the ocean? Who lives in the dark tower on the horizon? Is it aliens or the rapture? (If it’s Koontz, it’s the rapture. Spoiler alert). But there is a disposable hollowness to a lot of genre writing. You do not often find people going back to re-read them. That’s why they are sold in airports, next to the single-use neck pillow and bottled water. No offense, genre fiction, but you’re a one night stand, not a relationship. This is not to say there is nothing between Jurassic Park and Ulysses. There is a vast and exciting world of fiction that approaches plot-driven stories—about murder and crime, the supernatural, science fiction, etc.—with an eye to the poetic possibilities of language. Genre with heart, so to speak. The difference is in the narration. Pick up a book and you can pretty much tell. The question is, what kind of narration do you want?

Free-indirect third person is a popular technique—almost the default of modern literary fiction—that allows you to describe actions and set scenes, while also ‘peering’ into the heads of your characters, but also retaining some agency to make commentary or wax poetic as an authorial voice. But there are other options. The first person, which is challenging, is the most psychologically acute way to sketch a character. And I recommend you both do some first person writing, even if only as an exercise that never leaves your laptop or sketchbook. The first person can be tiring to write, especially in action scenes, because you need to keep one hand on your character’s tone of voice and the other hand on the events. You can’t just say what happened, you have to describe them the way your character would see them. The payoff is that your reader truly gets inside the head of your creation, for better and worse. Here’s a quick example, from Gore Vidal’s very funny and thoroughly exhausting Myra Breckinridge:

I am Myra Breckinridge whom no man will ever possess. Clad only in my garter belt and one dress shield, I held off the entire elite of the Trobriand Islanders, a race who possess no words for “why” or “because.” Wielding a stone axe, I broke the arms, the limbs, the balls of their finest warriors, my beauty blinding them, as it does all men, unmanning them in the way that King Kong was reduced to a mere simian whimper by beauteous Fay Wray whom I resemble left three-quarter profile if the key light is no more than five feet high during the close shot.

Gore Vidal keeps this up for the entire novel. It is a brilliant tour-de-force that can be a little taxing, like have someone as bombastic and excessive as Myra inside your head for hundreds of pages. But Vidal’s novel accomplishes a massive amount of psychological mapping, something that simply would not be possible in the third person. And, of course, there are subtler first person narratives. The point is, you as the author have to truly disappear into the voice of your character to write effective first person fiction. There is also the strange and quite rare second-person, of which I and almost no-one else is a fan. Here’s the opening to Jay McInerney’s Bright Lights Big City:

You are not the kind of guy who would be at a place like this at this time in the morning. But here you are, and you cannot say the terrain is completely unfamiliar, although the details are a little fuzzy. You are at a nightclub talking to a girl with a shaved head. The club is either Heartbreak or the Lizard Lounge. All might come clear if you could just slip into the bathroom and do a little more Bolivian Marching Powder…

McInerney also keeps this up for the entire novel, and the effect is somehow tranfixing: the reader ends up talking to their own self, in a voice that is not their own, but that—over the course of the novel—seems to become their own. If first person gives you an intimate look into a character’s psyche, second person puts you behind the wheel. It’s a strange effect, and difficult to pull off and sustain. But, if you find that you have a story to tell and it won’t fit into first or second person, maybe—just for fun—give this one a shot. And give McInerney a read if you haven’t. It’s worth it. Lastly, I want to say that—regardless of the formal type of narration you use—the biggest impact on your work will be the style of your narration. Will it be understated, cool and ironic, or bombastic and comical? 

Reading

  • Myra Breckinridge by Gore Vidal
  • Bright Lights Big City by Jay McInerney 

Assignment

Choose an opening of a work and rewrite the first 500 or so words in a different tone. If the tone is comical, make it serious. If the tone is removed or distant, go closer into the character’s perspective. If the pace is fast, try slowing it down and vice versa. When you’ve rewritten the opening, look for another 500 words section of the narrative and rewrite the tone in the same manner as your new opening. Lay the rewritten sections aside for a few days. When you come back to the rewritten sections, ask yourself honestly if the original tone or the revised tone are working better. 

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Tone in Openings and Bret Easton Ellis’ American Psycho

ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE is scrawled in blood red lettering on the side of the Chemical Bank near the corner of Eleventh and First and is in print large enough to be seen from the backseat of the cab as it lurches towards traffic leaving Wall Street and just as Timothy Price notices the words a bus pulls up, the advertisement for Les Miserables on its side blocking his view, but Price who is with Pierce & Pierce and twenty-six doesn’t seem to care because he tells the driver he will give him fie dollars to turn up the radio, “Be My Baby” on WYNN, and the driver, black, not American, does so.

This is the opening to Bret Easton Ellis’s American Psycho, one of those notorious novels that few people read anymore (the movie is more popular, and worth watching, but falls considerably short of the truly cold horror of Ellis’s prose). And, speaking of prose, consider Ellis’s tone in this near-breathless opening paragraph (which is a single, near-run-on sentence). The opening words, referencing Dante’s Inferno, describes an improbably literate piece of graffiti that is ‘scrawled in blood,’ – it’s only a fraction of a second later that the reader’s mind adjusts the mental image between Dante scrawled in blood and Dante scrawled in blood red lettering. It’s a subtle shift, but its indicative of Ellis’s prose style and also foreshadows his general method – implying something horrible and then dialing it back (including the pervasive ‘it was all a dream’ move). Also crammed into this opening sentence is Ellis’s unyielding realist familiarity; when he writes about Los Angeles and New York he often uses real places and locations, the names of real restaurants alongside fake ones, and so forth. The reader often struggles to figure out the metaphorical import of his references (i.e. ‘is this a cool part of town?’ and ‘is that a real artist or movie being mocked?’). This can make Ellis’s novels seem very real and knowing – and makes the horror concealed in them so much more terrifying, because they take place in a very realistic setting – and it also allows the readers to feel a sense of cool and knowing superiority if they are ‘in’ on his references. Finally, Ellis’s icy and amoral reportage: the cab driver is ‘black, not American’ and a wealthy banker – whose race is not given, which in Ellis usually means he’s wealthy and white – pays him simply to turn up the radio. The wild inequalities of race, gender, and nationality are more subtly implied here than elsewhere in the book, but – back to the point – Ellis simply describes the exchange without comment. Timothy Price does not ‘dickishly’ or ‘imperiously’ or ‘callously’ hand the cab driver the money, he simply does it. Judgement is on the reader. This is the effect of Ellis’s careful and sparing use of adjectives, which he inherits from Hemingway and even more-so from Edith Wharton. There’s more to say – always more to say, of course – about this opening, but I think you’ve got some idea of how heavily you can mine the first paragraph (or sentence) of a novel or short story for import.

Reading

Assignment

  1. Your first assignment is to find an opening – to a short story or novel – that you find particularly interesting. It can frustrate you or inspire you, but – in either case – post it below along with a brief summary of your thoughts on the opening. How does it work? What does it do? How does it help to prepare (or mislead) the reader for what is to come?
  2. Choose an opening from your own work, 1000 words or less, and revise it with an eye toward the features that most move you in the above opening.
  3. Feel free to post your opening below for sharing with course mates.

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Authentic Voice & F. Scott Fitzgerald’s Advice on “the price” of Being a Writer

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s Advice to Frances Turnbull

November 9, 1938

Dear Frances:

I’ve read the story carefully and, Frances, I’m afraid the price for doing professional work is a good deal higher than you are prepared to pay at present. You’ve got to sell your heart, your strongest reactions, not the little minor things that only touch you lightly, the little experiences that you might tell at dinner. This is especially true when you begin to write, when you have not yet developed the tricks of interesting people on paper, when you have none of the technique which it takes time to learn. When, in short, you have only your emotions to sell.

This is the experience of all writers. It was necessary for Dickens to put into Oliver Twist the child’s passionate resentment at being abused and starved that had haunted his whole childhood. Ernest Hemingway’s first stories ‘In Our Time’ went right down to the bottom of all that he had ever felt and known. In ‘This Side of Paradise’ I wrote about a love affair that was still bleeding as fresh as the skin wound on a haemophile.

The amateur, seeing how the professional having learned all that he’ll ever learn about writing can take a trivial thing such as the most superficial reactions of three uncharacterized girls and make it witty and charming — the amateur thinks he or she can do the same. But the amateur can only realize his ability to transfer his emotions to another person by some such desperate and radical expedient as tearing your first tragic love story out of your heart and putting it on pages for people to see.

That, anyhow, is the price of admission. Whether you are prepared to pay it or, whether it coincides or conflicts with your attitude on what is ‘nice’ is something for you to decide. But literature, even light literature, will accept nothing less from the neophyte. It is one of those professions that wants the ‘works.’ You wouldn’t be interested in a soldier who was only a little brave.

In the light of this, it doesn’t seem worth while to analyze why this story isn’t saleable but I am too fond of you to kid you along about it, as one tends to do at my age. If you ever decide to tell your stories, no one would be more interested than,

Your old friend,

F. Scott Fitzgerald

P.S. I might say that the writing is smooth and agreeable and some of the pages very apt and charming. You have talent — which is the equivalent of a soldier having the right physical qualifications for entering West Point.

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s Letter to His Daughter on Writing

Grove Park Inn
Asheville, N.C.
October 20, 1936

Dearest Scottina:

[…]

Don’t be a bit discouraged about your story not being tops. At the same time, I am not going to encourage you about it, because, after all, if you want to get into the big time, you have to have your own fences to jump and learn from experience. Nobody ever became a writer just by wanting to be one. If you have anything to say, anything you feel nobody has ever said before, you have got to feel it so desperately that you will find some way to say it that nobody has ever found before, so that the thing you have to say and the way of saying it blend as one matter—as indissolubly as if they were conceived together.

Let me preach again for one moment: I mean that what you have felt and thought will by itself invent a new style so that when people talk about style they are always a little astonished at the newness of it, because they think that is only style that they are talking about, when what they are talking about is the attempt to express a new idea with such force that it will have the originality of the thought. It is an awfully lonesome business, and as you know, I never wanted you to go into it, but if you are going into it at all I want you to go into it knowing the sort of things that took me years to learn.

[…]

Nothing any good isn’t hard, and you know you have never been brought up soft, or are you quitting on me suddenly? Darling, you know I love you, and I expect you to live up absolutely to what I laid out for you in the beginning.

Scott

Authentic Reading Exercise

If you had never seen your face in a mirror, would you recognize yourself in a picture someone handed to you? We form concepts of self by how we view ourselves in mirrors, family, friends, even in those whom we do not call friends. Without these mirrors both literally and figuratively, we would have no sense of ourselves within the larger communities. It is not so different with our authentic voices. Equally important is that we find mirrored images of self within the people who are current and relevant to our states of being. For instance, if you were sitting across a cafe table from your great great great grandmother and your mother, would you expect them to view you and describe you in the same manner? Likewise, if you sat across a cafe table from Charles Baudelaire and George Saunders, would you expect them to view your writing and describe it in the same manner?

The writers we read and connect to not only teach us about their narratives and crafts, they mirror a sense of our own narratives, crafts and authentic voices, both the contemporary writers we love and the ones we don’t.

Your first assignment for this workshop is to find three short stories or collections you love and three short stories or collections you hate. It is not enough that you are luke warm on these works. They must be three you love, feel at home with, want to emulate. Three you can hardly get through the first pages. It is okay to have your preferences. This is individual to you and in pursuit of further exploring your authentic voice. They must have been published within the last ten years. You may have already read them or merely started them. Once you identify these three works you love and three you hate, follow these directions:

  • Read or reread the first three or more pages of the works you love and hate (if you can find amazon excerpts and do not need to purchase the books, that’s fine.)
  • List the works by love/hate and write a few lines, no more than a paragraph per work, on why you love or hate each one. Be specific. Look at the word choice, the way the narrative opens, the syntax, cadence, does it use poetic vehicles such as repetition and internal rhyme, is the context of interest to you….
  • Now, choose your favorite of the three. Read the first 1000 words or close to this.
  • Choose one short story or short short story you have already written.  We are going to focus on the first 1000 words of this story. Read these first 1000 words.
  • Read your favorite work again, first 1000 words.
  • Yes, read the first 1000 words of your story again. (Of course, feel free to take a breather between reads but it is helpful if you can do this within the space of a single day with a few minutes or hours between.)
  • Now, do the same with your second favorite book. Read the first 1000 words of the book. Read the first 1000 words of your story. Read the work. Read your story. It is preferable that you do this within the span of a single day.
  • Now, the authentic voice writing assignment…

Writing Authentic Voice Assignment

Put your favorite works and your short story away. Do not look at them. Do not even peek. Now, write your story, again, from memory. DO NOT PEEK! This isn’t about recreating your original story or making it perfect. This is about working from a familiar narrative after immersing in authentic reading likes and dislikes. Allow this narrative to go wherever it wants to go and do not worry about it being like your favorite works. Just let your subconscious talents do their work. (When we read and connect to favorite works and disconnect to hated works, our minds are forming schematics both consciously and subconsciously. By letting go of the “control” aspect in our writing, we allow our subconsciouses to better support our conscious craft. Remember, this authentic voice writing assignment isn’t about creating a perfect work, its about giving your narrative craft and authentic voice a chance to meet, play and marinate. We will be working on “perfecting” the manuscript in form and context later in this workshop.)

Discussion

Below in the comments section, identify your favorite and hated works. In less than 500 words, explain what you feel connects you to the three favorite works collectively. Also, explain what you feel repels you from your hated works, collectively.  Don’t worry about offending anyone. We all have our authentic voices and preferences and we can agree and disagree while respecting each others’ preferences.

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