SUNDAY MAIL | To the Starbucks Woman

starbucks windowTo the 50ish-year-old white woman with really-poorly dyed blonde hair in the pale pink North Face vest who bitched the fuck out of the super-fabulous flamboyantly gay Starbucks barista with a gap in between his front teeth and an awesome white paisley-designed black tie on because he put only one pump of sugar-free vanilla syrup in your grande skinny no-foam latte instead of one and a half pumps and who, after the super-fabulous flamboyantly gay Starbucks barista assured you in the most commendable the-customer-is-always-right voice that there was the correct amount of espresso in your drink, rolled not just your eyes at him but your entire neck and said Well at least you know how to do one thing right,







Chelsey Clammer
Chelsey Clammer is the author of the award-winning essay collection, Circadian (Red Hen Press, 2017) and BodyHome (Hopewell Publications, 2015). Her work has appeared in Salon, The Rumpus, Hobart, Brevity, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, The Normal School and Black Warrior Review. She teaches online writing classes with WOW! Women On Writing and is a freelance editor. Her next collection of essays, Human Heartbeat Detected, is forthcoming (Fall 2022) from Red Hen Press.