SUNDAY MAIL | To the Starbucks Woman

starbucks windowTo the 50ish-year-old white woman with really-poorly dyed blonde hair in the pale pink North Face vest who bitched the fuck out of the super-fabulous flamboyantly gay Starbucks barista with a gap in between his front teeth and an awesome white paisley-designed black tie on because he put only one pump of sugar-free vanilla syrup in your grande skinny no-foam latte instead of one and a half pumps and who, after the super-fabulous flamboyantly gay Starbucks barista assured you in the most commendable the-customer-is-always-right voice that there was the correct amount of espresso in your drink, rolled not just your eyes at him but your entire neck and said Well at least you know how to do one thing right,







Chelsey Clammer
Chelsey Clammer is an award-winning essayist who has been published in The Rumpus, Essay Daily, The Water~Stone Review and Black Warrior Review among many others. She is the Essays Editor for The Nervous Breakdown. Her first collection of essays, BodyHome, was released from Hopewell Publishing in Spring 2015. Her second collection of essays, There Is Nothing Else to See Here, is forthcoming from The Lit Pub. You can read more of her writing at