Spam Haiku


We are sending this
to ensure the privacy
of your Apple account.


Status of your funds
will teach you to lose pounds.
Can I work with you?


Hang any object.
Love the fusion idea.
They thought they fixed it.


Greetings Beloved.
Divine forces compel me.
May be a bother.


I am so happy
for you. The waiting peri-
od is over. Call

Mrs. Maria
for better understand-
ing why we write you.


A note from the poet:

I usually scan my spam folder for things that slip in there accidentally. One day, I just started to read through them, noting that my spam seems to be about the hope of money and the promise of good fortune and health. A lot of folks from Africa wanted me to send them all my personal information so I could collect my millions. Diabetes cures, weight loss programs, and some–very few–penis enlargement ads.
As I’m always teaching poetry, I noted the syntax and diction (often incorrect) and began to craft bitty poems from them. These are intact, mostly, from the originals. Sometimes I move a word or two around or change the verb tense, but these come in this way. My next goal is to start in on triolets and then pantoums. But I’m working slowly.


Jessica Barksdale Inclan has been teaching at the community college level for twenty-six years. She knows her rear from a semi-colon. Also, she writes various tomes, the latest of which is the novel “How to Bake a Man.” You can read more at